Dad...

Missing him badly today. His long time friend Larry passed away, we didn't learn of it until yesterday. I guess that death just brought all the emotions flooding back, that and the fact that his burial is monday. Sometimes I just wish I could pick up the phone and call him, i miss talking to him so much. I so wish the last 2 years held better memories than hospitals and all the junk. But i do remember all the really good times and I just wish so badly he could share in them now. I thought of him a lot this weekend camping, silly but what made me think of him most was lugging around wood for our campfire. As a kid we had a wood stove and we always had to bring in wood. My dad had a joke that the until he was 10 he thought his name was "bring wood" LMAO.
Faith is so funny and always doing something so cute, it pains me sometimes that Dad isn't here to enjoy her, when i put her hair in pigtails i think of him. When i was pregnant (before we found out she was a girl) he had a dream of a blond haired girl in pigtails, he was so in love with her, as he was all the kids, it breaks my heart he doesn't get to see them grow up. Oh i know he "sees" them, but i guess the truth is it breaks my heart to not have him here on earth to share with.
Well i need to pull myself together, as much as i'd like to i can't sit in front of the computer crying my eyes out all day.

Camping weekend #1

Was great...even in spite of the rain and wind we had a great time.
I actually didn't take many pictures, i always seemed to forget to grab the camera, duh on my part, but i know our friends did so i'll have to ask them to share. We are leaving Saturday for our next weekend adventure, this time to Cranberry Lake. We are taking Cheyanne with us and are expecting to have a great time!

Tomorrow is the big day...

Our first camping trip begins tomorrow!!
We have been spending a lot of time getting ready. Today I will be packing up the camper stuff. Preparing food. And trying to keep a very excited toddler busy :-)
I'm sure i'll have lots of pictures, oh yeah gotta pack the camera :-)

Cancer sucks!

A relative was just diagnosed with a very serious, very advanced type of lung cancer. It sounds like the doctors have an extremely grim outlook, she is going for a second opinion in Buffalo. And yes, she's a smoker, and to my knowledge always has been. PLEASE, if you smoke, if you know someone who smokes, encourage them to quit. This relative is only 52 (i think that's right) and she is way too young to die. She has 3 grandchildren, a 2 year old and a set of twins that are only a couple months old. Her son is getting married this year. It's just so sad to see someone get so sick from something like smoking. But then it also makes me think, I do something that i know is bad for me. I overeat, i don't exercise, i don't take care of my health in that way. I keep meaning to do something about it, but i just don't. I guess i have that mentality that nothing will happen to me. But you know, i bet that's how my relative felt too? Sure it might not be cancer, but it could be high blood pressure, arthritis, diabetes, other heart related ailments and any of the many many other diseases attributed to being overweight. It really makes you think. Since hearing the news about this diagnosis i find myself taking a moment to pray for them often through the day, please take a moment and pray for them too, thanks. And PLEASE don't smoke!

Ramblings...

Up really early today 4:30 am. I'm hoping the trend continues that i do not need as much sleep at night to feel rested. Last night i went to sleep at 10, so what 6ish hours and i'm feeling pretty good. I think my new meds are helping, yeah! Now to get just a bit more motivated to do stuff before work than sit in front of the computer drinking coffee and browsing, LOL.
Yesterday my co-worker came back from maternity leave, PHEW. There was speculation that she wouldn't return and that made me nervous that i'd be asked to work full time all summer. So this week i'm working 4 days, next week 3 days. YEAH!
Next Friday we leave for our first camping trip. We are going to a state park with friends. Faith will have fun with her little friends i'm sure and it will be great to get away from home for a couple days and relax a bit.
My new "sewing" machine (it's a coverstitch but i know most of my readers don't really know what that is) is great. I'm learning it and for the small amount of time i've practiced with it, i am getting pretty good results. A bit more practice and I think i'll have it down.
Faith is very very very busy these days. Always up to something. Her vocabulary is amazing, but unfortunately she has picked up a couple words she shouldn't have. For example she got mad at her Daddy for taking away her toothbrush and came running to me and said "Now i can't brush my *damn* teeth". I scolded her of course, but OMG i admit it, i was laughing hard on the inside. She getting extremely excited about having a "camping party" with all her "friends". Have i mentioned that she thinks every kid is her "friend", it's adorable. We'll see total strangers and she'll refer to their children as her "friend". And even say "bye friend". I think it's adorable and good that she just likes everyone :-)
Missing my dad a lot lately, i know what a kick he would get out of her and how much fun they would have. But i also remind myself of how sick he was and how great it is that he doesn't suffer pain anymore. I know he's watching over us, but i'm still sad to not have him here. I still catch myself wanting to pick up the phone and call him to tell him something, or to ask him a question about something. I've been really struggling with the fact that I am 32 years old and already lost a parent, somehow it just doesn't seem fair at all.
My brother's health is on my mind a lot lately too. His hips are both shot and he is facing hip replacements hopefully sometime over the summer. He has other problems as well, all caused by years of hard work doing construction. He finally had to call it quits working a bit ago, he just couldn't do it anymore. I worry for his family finances, i worry for his wife and the stress this is causing them both. I am hoping that he gets approved for worker's compensation to cover not only lost wages but to pay for the surgery he really needs. He's only 42, too young to have such health issues.
Well i suppose i should go and get ready for work. Lots of work waiting for me, catching up on stuff that has gotten piled up, makes the day go faster though. I do find myself fretting at work about the things waiting at home though, hopefully now that i will have an extra day or two each week to stay home, i will get more caught up and feel more at ease about it.
Later y'all, gosh you sure can tell i'm a hick :-)