Early Morning Ramblings

So it's now 4:48 am. I have been up since 3:30. Originally i got up to go to the potty, a normal thing for me. For some reason i couldn't get back to sleep and was just laying there totally awake, so I just decided i'd be better off getting up. So downstairs i came, turn on the computer, make coffee, put dog out, feed cat (so he'll shut up), turn on oven, mix muffins, bake muffins, have cup of coffee, read email, cruise my favorite websites, spend quite a bit of time on ebay looking for things that Faith probably doesn't really need, get up for another cup of coffee and here I am. Honestly I probably could have made this a much more productive morning, but jeez i did make muffins.
John's friend will be here a bit later to get started on the fence project, i'm so incredibly thrilled about this. A fenced in yard means a lot of room for Faith to play safely and privately. No neighbors staring at us, no stray dogs wandering over to potentially harm my child, or pee on all her toys or leave piles of "stuff" in my nice play area to have to scrape off shoes. So i'm pretty darned excited. Faith will be thrilled when Daddy has time to put together her great big swing we got her, i don't know if they'll get that done this weekend or not, but it will soon and I just know there will be hours and hours of fun play. Not to mention something she can invite her friends over to play on, okay mommy invites them but she does enjoy her "social time".
She's talking up a storm, i mean a really big gale force wind storm. And one really cute new thing is shaking your hand, like a real hand shake. She'll come up to you for no known reason, put out her hand, give you a nice firm shake and say "okay then bye". LMAO, she's so incredibly cute! Thank you God for such a precious gift.
Oh and while we are on the subject of precious gifts from God I read yesterday that Michelle Dugger (that "famous" TV mom with 17 kids) is pregnant with #18. She's 41 years old and has spent something like 11 years of her life pregnant. I would assume she's been pregnant or breastfeeding since she was about 20 years old. At first I was annoyed, i admit it, it annoys me that some people are able to have large families. But i have to say in everything i have seen and read they are great parents, they can afford to have a large family, the children actually seem to thrive. I told John that I have to be honest with myself that my "annoyance" is more of a frustration and plain old jealousy. Now granted i definately under no uncertain terms want 18 children. And i tried so hard to promise myself that if I got just 1 healthy child I would be happy. But my heart has been yearning so badly for another baby, i mean yearning, i honestly feel more desire than I did before Faith. Before Faith i felt broken, i felt unfulfilled, i felt sad, depressed, angry and like i was just missing out. Now i just have this strong yearning feeling, i'm not really angry, i'm not really sad (maybe a little sad at times but nowhere near like before), i just have this desire in my heart for another baby. It doesn't help that my dear little miracle is infatuated with babies. She'll see one on tv and will chatter on and on about the "baby". The second she sees someone with a baby carrier she wants to peek inside and see who's in there, yup "BABY" she'll tell me. I guess time will tell if there is another baby in our future, we are just kinda in a wait and see pattern.
Well I guess that's enough rambling for this morning. Maybe I'll get up and go do something truely productive. Or maybe i'll just go browse online some more....