Saturday, March 14, 2009

So where the heck have i been?

Honestly just working and trying to squeeze a life in after that. I'm gonna be honest it was a lot easier working when i didn't have a child and i honestly dont' like working, again don't mind the actual job just hate the guilt and chaos of it all.
I also have not been feeling good at all lately. I think the stress of dad's illness and death, combined with John's aunt's illness and death, combined with going back to work stress, has made me have a major flare of my fibromyalgia. I don't talk about it a lot because many people (even doctors) don't believe it's a "real" illness, so i tend to not mention it much. When i first went to college I experienced the normal transitioning stress, friend/relationship stress, etc and just got feeling so sick. At first doctors thought depression, took meds for that but the pain in my joints & muscles just didn't go away. Finally my mom took me to a rheumatologist, initially thinking I may have inherited her Lupus. But the rheumatologist did a bunch of tests and concluded that I had fibromyalgia. She put me on many different meds, which helped a bit here and there. But after a while i just felt like the meds didn't do that much to help so i just kinda "lived with it" all this time. I've found ways to modify things I do, and tricks to help the pain, like hot showers and meditation like therapy to help relax and rest. Many things go along with fibromyalgia like having very restless sleep being one of them, that's been a problem now for 6 months or more. There's other fun stuff too like an irritable bowel & bladder (which is why i know where just about every public bathroom is). The worst of it though is definately the joint & muscle pain, which has been getting progressively worse for going on about 2 weeks now. Don't get me wrong, i pretty much have pain all the time but it's very tolerable and managable w/ a bit of motrin, hot showers, occassional massages, etc. But boy the last two weeks it's just getting BAD. I have been taking more motrin than i'd like to (since it's so bad for your stomach) and the discomfort has really made the working/home situation worse. I dont' know if I should try to go see the rheumatologist again after all this time, and see if maybe she can help (but i hate going to doctors so i don't know). For now I guess i'm taking a wait and see and hope it gets better approach.

On a happier front I think we are going to just take the plunge and buy a camper this year. We have put it off now the last 2 years, but we want one so badly. We want to spend a lot of quality time with Faith. And we want the ability to get away from home and do something really relaxing as much as possible. I think it will be a huge benefit to our family. Last fall we said we would definately do it this spring, but well you know what happened to the economy since then, so we had put it on hold again. But we decided we are going for it. Our car is officially paid off in a month. With me working full time right now it has given us the ability to save up some money as well as pay down some debt. We also decided we can give up other things in our life to make the camper dream happen. So we'll be working on that over the next couple months and hope to camp all summer and part of the fall probably too.


Sarah said...

Sorry about all the pain you are experiencing. I have IBS and that isn't a "real" illness either. Stress makes it really bad as well so I understand your pain to a certain extent. I hope that it getting better for you! And YEA! about a camper! That is something that Brian and I want! :)

Diana said...

First of all...CONGRATS on the camper! How exciting! Its very nice!

I'm so sorry you haven't been feeling well! My dad has Lyme Disease which isn't a "real" illness either, so I understand that part of it! I just wish they would stop ignoring the fact that it DOES exist and find some kind of help for you! UGH! How frustrating! Anyway...I hope you get so relief soon!

I've been thinking and praying for you a ton lately! I hope to see you soon!

Leah said...

Sorry you are in so much pain!! I hope you are feeling better soon!! Enjoy your new camper!