Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful...

for each day we have with my dad....
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Homemade Chicken Broth

Okay so the other day in the market I needed chicken broth. I went to pick up a can at 99 cents and thought, 2 cups of chicken broth for 99 cents? Why am i wasting money on something I can make. So....here's what I did.

I unthawed a chicken (it was two 1/2 chickens i had bought on sale for $1 a lb - $4). I cut up 2 onions, 3 carrots and 3 stalks of celery (or was it 4) - approx. $1 worth of vegetables.
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Put it in my largest pot (which happens to be my canning pot, with the jar holder removed).
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Added about 8 quarts of water.
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Boiled it all together for an hour or so (honestly couldn't tell you how long it was, till it looked done - don't you love my cooking methods LOL)
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Separated out the chicken and vegetables -
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Here's my nice batch of broth - i should say the first batch.
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Then i cooled everything and picked off the chicken to store for a later meal (honestly could be 2 meals really, since there's just 3 of us).
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Then on to the second batch of broth. I took the chicken bones, and the vegetables again and boiled another smaller batch of broth.
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Here's the totals - 1 large package of chicken picked from the bone. 40 cups of broth in various containers and bags frozen for later use. For $5 and some of my time.
This would have cost $20 at the store just for the broth (approx. 99 cents a can x 20 cans) and the cost of the chicken $4. So in the store $24.
Can't beat $19 savings right?

Stay tuned for more adventures in "making it cheaper than the store".

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Much more productive today...

I have gotten dishes all cleaned up, and then more after that (i cooked).
I have folded 3 loads of clothes that were already clean/dry. Then I have washed/dried 3 loads of towels, still have to fold 2 of them (they are finishing drying).
I made a HUGE batch of chicken broth, i will be posting about this in the next couple days. (hence the additional dishes)
I cleaned the entire bathroom including sweeping and mopping.

Cheyanne is here for the night so i'm not sure what else i'll get done, sometimes her being here helps, sometimes it doesn't. So we'll see. I feel better knowing I got the worst of it taken care of. I hate feeling like a slug but well it's hard not to lately.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Feeling lazy...

I can't seem to get motivated to do a darn thing today. I have a sink full of dishes calling my name. Laundry up the wazoo. My carpets are in need of vacuuming. There are toys strewn about. The bathroom definitely needs a good scouring. But here i sit, typing a blog post. I guess when there is so much sad stuff going on lately it's just hard to really care about little things like laundry, does that make any sense?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dad ...

Dad has decided to stop treatment. I respect his decision and totally understand. He will get pain medication for comfort, they will monitor his sugars to make sure they don't get too high (i guess that can create pain?) and basically eventually he will just fall asleep and not wake up. We are all of course very very sad, but well death is part of life, he's very tired and has very little quality of life. I will be trying to spend extra time there. The time estimate is pretty much anytime, maybe as long as Christmas or a little longer, it's really just not "determinable" based on his multiple medical problems. Please keep my family in your prayers, i feel the love around me and that definately helps through the toughest times.

So it's my blog anniversary

I've been blogging for a year, pretty cool eh?
I have nothing really interesting to post about, nothing "anniversary" worthy. So we'll just leave it at Happy Blogaversary!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Can you dream smells?

Okay this is something i've wondered for a while. I often will be woken up in the night smelling something - toast, coffee...usually something food related. Sometimes it's another smell like perfume. Well last night I smelled cow manure, ewww. Woke up and was like "Oh great what did the dog do". I recently started letting him back into the whole house since the mud finally froze up and he's no longer tracking it everywhere. Anyway, came downstairs and nothing. I was apparently dreaming the smell of cow poop.

How weird am I??

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Okay I'm gonna try to post something positive...

As the depressing news continues to circulate i just feel like i need to try and be positive.

*Faith is spending the night with Grandma and Chey. I think it will be good for mom, she's been so stressed and Faith is most definately a source of joy. Plus it gives me a chance to get caught up on a mountain of things that need to be done here. First up is laundry. However i don't know if chores are "positive" so i will move on.

*Despite the fact that it is 24 degrees outside right now, it is 76 degrees in here. Now i know that probably sounds outright ridiculous to many, but we have to keep it very warm in the living/dining room in order for the upstairs to stay a decent temperature too. So it's nice and toasty and I'm glad about that.

*We found the source of the mysterious "footprints" all over our vehicles. The neighbors cat got into our garage friday and was apparently too afraid to leave or something. We had "mysterious" cat prints all over our vehicles both saturday and sunday mornings. The funny thing is we looked all over for the darn thing (knowing that there wasn't a "ghost" cat in the garage leaving footprints on the car), John and I both looked all over and couldn't find it. We came home Sunday night, he flicked the light on and there is this big white & gray cat in the rafters over his truck, afraid to get down. It's a "BIG" cat, how did we miss it? I'm sure he wasn't up there the whole time, since he was busy leaving footprints everywhere but still where in the world was he hiding?

*I have some really fantastic friends. They have been so great about talking to me, letting me vent, letting me cry. And just totally understanding how broken i feel, it's so nice to know someone understands and cares.

*I have an absolutely fantastic little girl. She's so smart and so funny. She is getting to be such a big girl that it sometimes makes me sad. But she's also becoming so much FUN! She never forgets anything either, if you make the mistake of mentioning going somewhere, she will just keep bugging you about it till you go. Annoying, but funny at the same time.

Okay well reading back through this is more of a general chit chat than a "postive" post. But well it is what it is, i tried. Off to fold laundry.

Monday, November 17, 2008

My goodness, will it ever end?

Mom told me last night that my uncle (my dad's youngest brother) told her that he has prostate cancer. We don't know many details yet, and he has asked that we not share this news with Dad, he feels that Dad has more than enough on his plate to worry about and doesn't want to add to it. I respect that and in a way thank him for that. I'm sure we'll find out a bit more today when we can talk more. I gotta tell ya I'm looking for something good to come, please God send something positive our way, please!!! I'm pleading.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My posts are so sad lately...

But my aunt just passed away. She was in her 80's and had been sick for the last few months with some sort of brain tumor. Not a big shock that she passed, but sad none the less. I have to confess i've been wondering who would be first. There have been 3 very ill in our family. Her, my dad and John's aunt. I sure hope this is the only funeral i have to attend for a while. Of course my first thought was "oh no, but at least she's out of pain" and like a girl, my second thought was "do i have anything to wear?". Bad I know...but true too.

A little SPAM

Check out my store, i'm stocking a few handmade items on Saturday.
SEWsational Sarah

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I feel so defeated (a long sad vent)...

I am having a bit of a break down, no not a serious one but just need to vent.

The situation with my dad is so upsetting i can't tell you how much i'm hurting. I feel like i'm just waiting around for him to die, which in a way i guess we are (after all we are all going to die some day right). But, the thing is when you see him he doesn't seem "that sick". Yeah sure he's weak, but it doesn't seem fair that he can't get better. I just feel so defeated.

Then there's the whole trying for another baby. John isn't super supportive about it, he says there's just too much going on right now. At first his resistance didn't bother me, cause well that's just John, he behaved the same way before. Instead of admitting his fears he gets defensive and what not, i'm used to it. But then there was the hard reality of just how much it would cost us to do more fertility treatments. So then we thought well we'll take the "low cost" route and just do some medication treatments. So today i went to pick up a progesterone prescription. That was a big thing when i was pregnant with Faith, i had to take a lot of supplements. Anyway it was $176. I was like "nope never mind". I will shop around and see if i can get it somewhere for a reasonable price but still. UGH. Again I just feel so defeated.

Then there is all the other every day stuff. The mountain of laundry. The muddy floor (thanks to the dog and our lovely weather). The need to cook and clean and carry on with life in general. I don't know I guess i just feel defeated there too.

Even my favorite hobby, sewing just seems like a chore right now. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But i can't, i have to go on, i have to at least try for Faith, for John, for myself. But it's so hard, it's just too much. I feel so defeated...

Monday, November 10, 2008

Updates...

Saw the RE today, for now we are taking the most basic (aka cheap) approach to try for another blessing. If you want details just ask, otherwise i won't bore you with the blah blah blah's of fertility treatment. But please say a prayer that we either are lucky in conceiving soon or that we figure out how to cope with having an only child. I just don't feel my heart would feel such yearning for another baby if it wasn't meant to be.

In other news. The PA stopped in to talk with Dad and Mom today. Dad had another episode of chest pain this morning while getting dressed. Basically he said things are progressing faster than they had expected, meaning Dad is going downhill faster than they had anticipated. I don't know exactly what this means, but i know it's not good news. The only good thing i can see from this is that Dad and Mom did talk about things that need to be done, and he did seem to be in an okay frame of mind about it. So there's that. My heart is broken and aching and dread the phone ringing sometimes, worried it's bad news. Well can't post more about that now cause i'll just start another crying fest and tonight i just don't want to do that.

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day so make sure to thank a vet for your freedom.

Off to try and spend some quality time with my little monkey.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Dad update...

Well unfortunately it's not a happy update. It's looking like Dad may never come home. I hate to "say" it outloud and have been avoiding it for so long. But it's time to come to terms with it I guess.
Mom spoke with his doctor yesterday regarding his extremely low platelet count. At this point that is concerning but since he's having no bleeding issues it's okay (platelets are what clots your blood). The more concerning issue is keeping his white blood cells up, with cold/flu season here it's important for him to not get sick.
They also discussed him coming home. We had been hopeful that this would happen before Thanksgiving. None of us were really sure, he's so weak and Mom wouldn't be able to handle it all herself. We kept convincing ourselves that we could do it.
So, mom asked the doctor her opinion. She said at this point he's just too weak, he would need a nurse pretty much all day/night and it's just not feasible. Plus the huge risk of more falls and injuries would be so great at home. Also he'd be at more risk of picking up a cold or infection at home, though sometimes i honestly think you get more sick in a hospital (but that's for another post some other time). Anyway the doctor was against him going home right now.
It's a definate blow to us all, but I can't say any of us are really surprised. I think we've all been avoiding saying it "out loud" all this time. We've never really made a big attempt for his room to be "homey" for him, we just didn't want to admit he'd be "living" there.
He's been there now over a year and may never come home. I keep telling myself that trying to make it real. Trying to be strong, trying not to cry. It's so hard to make my life go on when his is slowly draining away. I HATE IT!
I hate what this last year and 4 months has done to my father. I know he was never truely a "healthy" person, but it's so hard to see every ounce of his spirit sucked out of him. It's so hard to be there on the "bad days" (like today) when he's depressed and blue. Today he hardly talked. Faith was able to brighten him a bit, but even that just wasn't the same. I just don't understand why things like this happen, why people have to be sick or failing in health. What's the lesson to be learned? What's the point? Is it to make us all greatful for the days we have? Should be celebrate each moment, sure but how can i when my Dad is so sad. How can i possibly be truely happy each day and make my life meaningful while he suffers? I feel like i'm constantly having to push those bad feelings to the side and force myself to be joyful.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

It came, it came! My pottery!

Since John doesn't read my blog i put his mug in the picture too, it's a Christmas gift from Faith.
Isn't it beautiful!
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

PHEW!

My sewing machine is fixed. It was the timing, it was off and the belt was loose. Thank goodness they were so great about getting it right in and fixing it. No charge, that was nice too. Of course while they were looking at it i went to Walmart and bought a bunch of Christmas fabric and then to JoAnn's and got a bunch of flannel. But it's all stuff i'll use and it was all on sale. Now i gotta get my scissors from upstairs (i was hand sewing in bed last night, what a chore hand sewing is). I can't go get them right now and wake John up, so i'll have to sew after Faith goes to bed. Anyway, she's fixed!! WOOT WOOT

Monday, November 3, 2008

Sewing....

Okay so i just put the sewing machine needle into my finger, boy did that feel good....
then i got some fabric caught, it jammed up while it was supposed to be sewing, and when i got it all cleaned out now my bobbin thread isn't getting picked up....ARGH!
I'm taking a break and then goign to follow the instructions for taking the bobbin case apart and cleaning it. I cannot be without my machine right now so please say a sewing machine prayer that it's not broken and going to have to go for service.

***EDITED to add***
it's broken....I am so upset and frustrated. I will have to take it in to the dealer tomorrow. I am hoping they can look at it right away and it's an easy fix. I NEED my sewing machine. It's not a want, it's a NEED I have way to much going on that needs to be completed to not have it.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Some recent pictures.

I think they are all pretty self explanatory.