Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dad...

Missing him badly today. His long time friend Larry passed away, we didn't learn of it until yesterday. I guess that death just brought all the emotions flooding back, that and the fact that his burial is monday. Sometimes I just wish I could pick up the phone and call him, i miss talking to him so much. I so wish the last 2 years held better memories than hospitals and all the junk. But i do remember all the really good times and I just wish so badly he could share in them now. I thought of him a lot this weekend camping, silly but what made me think of him most was lugging around wood for our campfire. As a kid we had a wood stove and we always had to bring in wood. My dad had a joke that the until he was 10 he thought his name was "bring wood" LMAO.
Faith is so funny and always doing something so cute, it pains me sometimes that Dad isn't here to enjoy her, when i put her hair in pigtails i think of him. When i was pregnant (before we found out she was a girl) he had a dream of a blond haired girl in pigtails, he was so in love with her, as he was all the kids, it breaks my heart he doesn't get to see them grow up. Oh i know he "sees" them, but i guess the truth is it breaks my heart to not have him here on earth to share with.
Well i need to pull myself together, as much as i'd like to i can't sit in front of the computer crying my eyes out all day.

1 comment:

Ellen said...

I am sorry Sarah. Some days are worse than others. I hope you got some good hugs from Faith. Big hugs to you!