Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Should i be the "better" person...

Okay i have a dilema. As most of you have probably heard me say before some of my extended family are a bunch of boobs. I might even say some of the border on "trailer park" you know what. Now i know they are family but for the most part i avoid them, have for years, we just have nothing in comman and some of the things they say/do just really bother me. Tracey and Gabby can attest i was really upset that none of my mother's side of the family (with the exception of one cousin, whom i adore) bothered to show up to my baby shower, i was beyond crushed. I realize we don't see each other often, but they are family after all and to have every single one of them totally blow it off, really hurt. We are talking like 20ish people. It wasn't about the "gift" though but once my mom told one of her sisters how upset she was that none of them showed up, i started getting all these "late" gifts, like they did kinda feel guilty for blowing it off and sent some little thing to make up for it. But see that's not why i was upset (the gifts), to me showers whether they be bridal (which most of them didn't come to either) or baby are about a celebration, you are celebrating with your family/friend the joyous event that is going to take place, yes you bring a gift but you mostly are there to support and wish them well.
So anyway that's the brief history part of this post, now on to my dilema. My cousin is getting married. Said cousin has 2 children with her ex that is now in jail, lived with him for years in their own home. While he was in jail she meant someone else and is now marrying said "someone else". (get where the above reference is coming from??). Anyway i have not even seen this cousin in YEARS and we don't live far away, just don't see her. Her mother is one of my mom's sisters that couldn't be bothered to show up for my baby shower and has since Faith was born been saying to me "oh i have a gift card for you, i keep forgetting to give it to you" (again could care less about the gift card, it's the point of hurting feelings, duh). The only time i ever see that aunt is when i stop in to her store to eat lunch or something, and we're talking like a few times a year at best and it's normally because my mom is with me and chooses to go there. So yesterday I get an invitation in the mail for her bridal shower. My first reaction was "heck no, i'm not going, no way". But then part of me is now feeling like, maybe i should be the "better" person in all this and go?? Should i continue to be bitter and not bother, should i go and take a gift (all the time knowing full well that's probably the only reason i was invited). Please share your thoughts.


Anonymous said...

I would say go. It's an awesome opportunity to witness to those who need Christ (even if they are saved..they are obviously in need of Christ-like examples)
Perhaps instead of a traditional gift, take a card written with well-wishes for a happy marriage...and maybe put several scriptures in there as well.
Gifting aside..I would definitely say going is a good idea and a good way to show some Christ-like grace.

Diana said...

I can see it both ways, really. But: I'd say try to go as well. When they didn't come to your shower you were in a way hurt. I wouldn't want to do to someone else what they did to me. You don't have to go all out for a gift, just something small, yet thought about. I support whatever you decide though. I'd be frustrated too.

Anonymous said... hate going to baby showers and bridal showers, and will try to avoid them at all You know me! However, I always at least call and let them that I won't be coming, and always send along a gift or gift card with a card, thanking them for inviting me to the shower and wishing them well.


Sarah said...

Yeah i think i'm just going to send a gift, or go in together with my mom on something, i'm not going to go though, i just don't want to deal with that. I think you are right tracey, more than anything you just have to acknowlege the invitation whether you agree with getting it or not. Thanks girls!