Tuesday, January 20, 2009

So i think i'm starting to panic...

Why did i take a job? What was i thinking? How can i do all this when i am so used to having so much freedom of my time. Faith and I literally do what we want every day, all day long. I'm starting to realize how much i'm going to miss that. I don't want to take the attitude that i'm going to just hate it, because then i will. I want to be positive about it and think that maybe it will work out good. I hate feeling like I'm only doing something for money. I'll be the first to admit i'm not the greatest "stay at home wife & mom". I am just not all about cleaning, the house is generally a wreck. But i've gotten so used to doing other things, especially sewing lately. When will i find time for that now? And what about laundry? I'm terrible at keeping up with it, is it only going to get worse?
I talked to my good friend Tracy last night. And we talked about how it's very important to have a routine. She recently went back to work after staying home with her little one for several years. Though the talk cemented what i already knew (that we would have to live a much more regimented way), it also made me more depressed. In a way i just hate the thought of doing a "go go go" all day long, all week long. I'm actually kinda hoping this job ends up being 3 or less days a week, so we have a couple free days during the week. But even if I do, i'll be playing catch up all the time. The weekends too.
I don't know, maybe i'm being overdramatic about the whole thing. Maybe it won't be that bad. I guess we'll just see.
I have started menu planning, something i've always wanted to do but never implemented. So this week we are eating from a "menu". I grocery shopped yesterday and made sure i had everything i needed to make all the meals this week, and wouldn't need to make any extra trips to the store. Also 3 nights this week I am making "extra" food, either extra cooked meats, extra sauce or a casserole to freeze. That will help make nights go quicker if I can just defrost something like meat sauce while i'm at work, come home and put together a quick goulash or spanish rice.
I'm trying to get "caught up" on things around the house too. I have some sewing i've got to do, none of it will take a super long time. I have of course got a lot of laundry to do, which i need to include pulling out my "dress" clothes to have for working. Now y'all know me, i don't really own "dress" cloths but you know my nicer stuff, not the sweat pants and t-shirts i wear most of the time lately.
Well i've let this post get too long. I guess my point is, this week i am trying to prepare myself to be a working mom & wife. I'm praying the transition goes easier than I'm anticipating.
Oh and I didn't mention, John is pretty much feeling the same way I am. He is partly glad I am taking a job, you know the $$ thing. But he's also pretty sad and nervous about how it's gonna work out. He'll likely not see Faith much at all during the week, probably never in the mornings I work and at night he has to get up, eat, get ready, go to work, not much quality time. We've been trying to come up with solutions for more time for them.
Okay nuff whining, on to some work. Well maybe one more cup of coffee....see, i just don't know...


Leah said...

The first few weeks are hard, no doubt but you do get into a routine and things get easier. Remember the crock pot is your best friend! Good Luck! You'll do great!

Diana said...

Just read this. Praying for you, Sarah.