Feeding my emotions...

My dad is getting more and more depressed. Yesterday was the worst of it, when I called to say "we are on our way up, is there anything you want?" he replied "yes, go home." and the bad thing is he meant it. I could tell by his voice that if I was to show up (at first i considered just going anyway) he would be angry and so my broken heart just went ahead and didn't go. So we went ahead with our other plans (we had planned for after visiting dad) and went to Watertown to meet up with the "in laws" for dinner and to do a bit of shopping. We went to Texas Roadhouse and the "in laws" said they were going to get dinner - big mistake on their part because i was so upset that i was definately "feeding my emotions. I had a steak & rib combo. Man was that steak excellent, i could have eaten another one. Anyway then in the afternoon i ate a peanut butter cup, can't remember the last time I actually ate a candy bar. Then some fig newtons. Then at dinner time I went and got subs, those big ones from nice n' easy. Ate a whole one of those. I mean why do i have to be the kind of person that feeds their emotions? It's no wonder i can't ever seem to lose weight. I really wish I could be one of those people that don't eat when they are upset, jeepers I'd be doing awesome losing weight. And I certainly don't want to take up smoking or drinking to "feed my emotions". I just wish I could deal with things in a better way than stuffing my mouth with food. And i sit here thinking to myself "well duh obviously you realize you are doing it, so why don't you just not do it" and i bet you might be thinkign that too. Answer to that is i sure wish i could but it's like i just can't stop myself, even as aware of it as i am, i do it anyway. I swear food is a total addiction.